So THIS Is 25 - Steph's Story

Hey again.

Let me tell you about Stephanie today. Let's go back to 2016. Block brows, colored skinny jeans, and Facebook still ruled the day. Rihanna was still singing. Enter a couple of young, oblivious, and unassuming ladies with big fears and bigger dreams. It's day 1 of orientation, and we get asked about our food allergies in our little "family". I'm sandwiched on the staircase we called HQ for the week between Steph and Ivy, if memory serves correctly. I say I don't eat honey and ask them if I should put this down (I'm not allergic, just past trauma). Steph looks at me deadpan without missing a beat and says "Hukai kama kuna kitu hukulangi". To translate loosely, she called me fat like only a Kenyan would (actually she said I look like there's nothing I don't eat, but same difference right?)

That's Steph. Blunt. Brutally honest, sometimes to a fault. She is not the type of person to dress up reality or sugarcoat things for the comfort of others. I value that in her because it also means she is not one to take disrespect lying down, or standing up. She is outspoken and the greatest advocate for herself, and her friends. Steph has also been through more than the average Joe in her lifetime. If I was given her burden to bear, I wouldn't be able to stand. I remember a couple of years after the great honey incident of 2016, when she and I had a real heart-to-heart, and I got to understand the trajectory of her life. When we shared our fears for the future and the traumas of our past. The rest of the weekend, I kept looking at her and thinking about what strength and optimism she faced life with, despite everything it had thrown at her. This year, I have seen that same strength and light shine through her, as she's faced the most difficult of losses, with her head and her spirit still high. Through her, I have learnt so much about love, friendship, loss, life, work, money, ambition, and most of all, how to adjust the sails and stay afloat when the winds of life come crashing through.

I don't think I'd be able to walk a mile in her shoes, but I'm glad to have been able to walk beside her for the past few years. Here's a little snippet of what one of those years looked like.

Happy reading!

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Turning 25 is such a significant milestone, and I recall approaching it with a mix of excitement and anxiety, especially because most people if not everyone always say this is when your medulla or is it the frontal lobe, is fully developed. I remember having grand expectations of where I’d be at that age. I thought I’d have a high-paying, stable job in my chosen field, maybe even with a few promotions. I imagined feeling fulfilled, accomplished, and financially stable. But the reality was different. At this age I was still figuring out my career path, working an entry-level job at Dotsavvy thanks to your recommendation by the way, and even contemplating a complete career change. This left me feeling uncertain, stressed, and financially constrained.

I also pictured myself being financially independent by 25🤣🤣, having significant savings and investments. I thought I’d feel financially secure and independent. Instead, I was dealing with the ever-rising cost of living, buying house stuff for a house I hoped for but did not know would come. Balancing the budget was an ongoing battle, and I often found myself anxious about finances and worrying where I’d get an extra income from.

When it came to personal life and relationships, I assumed I’d be married, maybe even thinking about starting a family and planning on having 2 kids. Well, that wasn’t the case but I am grateful I found an unconditional love that felt secure and settled. Right now I am 28 and still navigating my relationship, with marriage and family planning still seeming distant.

I expected to have a clear sense of self, personal values, and life goals by 25. I thought I’d feel confident, self-assured, and directed. Instead, I found myself still exploring my identity, values, and goals, often facing what felt like a quarter-life crisis. This left me feeling confused and truthfully still am sometimes and constantly searching, and deeply introspecting.

Socially, I imagined having a close-knit group of friends and an active social life where we’d travel the world sipping margaritas and having bottomless mimosas by the beach on a random Monday morning. I thought I’d feel connected, supported, and socially satisfied. Thankfully, this part of my imagination and expectation turned out to be true. While it didn't happen exactly at 25, three years down the line, I now feel that I’ve achieved this emotional fulfillment. I have a wonderful group of friends, and we do enjoy spontaneous trips and memorable moments together. This sense of connection and support is one of the most gratifying aspects of my life.

I envisioned being in peak physical condition, maintaining a regular exercise routine, and leading a healthy lifestyle. I thought I’d feel energetic, healthy, and attractive. Instead, I struggled to balance work, social life, and self-care, leading to inconsistent fitness routines. This left me feeling tired, occasionally neglecting my health, and feeling the pressure to stay fit.

Lastly, I thought I’d have the perfect work-life balance—managing work commitments with personal time, hobbies, and relaxation. I expected to feel relaxed, well-rounded, and content. Instead, I struggled to manage my workload, often feeling overworked and sacrificing personal time. This left me feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and yearning for more free time.

Looking back, turning 25 was a mix of expectations and reality checks. It was a time of ongoing growth, learning, and adjusting dreams to fit the real world. While it was challenging, it was also an exciting journey of discovering who I am and where I’m truly headed. As you settle into your 25th year, just remember that it’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned. It’s all part of the adventure. Lots of love 🤍🤍