So THIS Is 25 - Ivy's Story

Hi,

Joy here. Before we get into Ivy's story, I wanted to add some background into who she is and why I care so much about what she has to say. Technically speaking, of my closest friends, Ivy is the oldest one. Only technically in the sense that I met her first. Picture this, our fresh-faced, wide-eyed selves reporting for day 1 of orientation in university. I found her waiting for other freshmen so we could be put into our orientation "family". At first glance, I remember thinking, "I don't know if I'll be friends with her". The day did not even end before we'd had several great and incredibly funny conversations. And now we constantly face allegations of being secretly related (someone even asked us if we're twins!) In a nutshell, Ivy is a ray of sunshine. Bubbly, inviting, hilarious - the type of person who can befriend anyone. I have great admiration for her strength of character, and how truly kind she is.

She is wise beyond her years and has a heart so big, I don't know how she carries it around and manages to function. She is grace personified - it takes A LOT to make her mad, but I carry the anger around for her. She is as great a conversationalist as she is photogenic (I truly believe she has no bad angles). You'll never catch her being camera shy and she reminds us to always document the memories. And props to me because the photo I've used is of her at 25. She has a boisterous laugh, and she laughs often. She's funny too, I'm sure we've all added a few years to our lifetimes by being her friend even though we've come close to cracking a few ribs. She is someone I know I can always count on - when I'm down, when I'm afraid, when I'm joyful, when I'm angry. She's there. I always tell her that I don't know what I did to deserve the kind of love she shows me. But with Ivy, she just loves, it's in her very nature - the essence of her being. I hope going forward, I can learn to lead with love more, just like she does.

She's also a great writer, so I know you'll love what she had to say about turning 25.

Happy reading!

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Turning 25: A Year of Breakthroughs and Lessons

Turning 25 is funny—it changes your perception of so many things. When I hit that milestone, I honestly felt like I was on top of the world as if reaching this age meant I could do anything. But, man, was I wrong.

At that time, I had a job and was finally taking driving lessons (I had an irrational fear that I would die behind the wheel, which is why I waited until I was 25). I was also coming to terms with being single after a four-year relationship and felt genuinely happy. Being born in January gave me the privilege of planning my year early. But what happened next was not on my bingo card for the year.

As the months passed, my contract ended, and we were told they could not renew it. This meant starting the job hunt again. I thought, "I’m smart and qualified; I’ll get a job in a few months." Well, someone up in heaven must have been laughing at me. Months dragged on, rejection emails piled up, and the questions in my head grew louder. I was 25 with no job, and my savings were slowly dwindling.

Suddenly, you’re required to act like an adult. Your brain is developed enough to stop acting like a child, and the questions become clearer and more pressing: What will I do when my savings end? Will my life choices so far set me up for success, or will they be my downfall? Can I just run away and not pay my taxes? Should I just live at home forever and have my parents care for me?

You keep looking for a way out, and days turn into months. Up to this point, I have to tell you, I wasn’t going to church or praying much. I am a Christian and born again, but I was wondering how God would let me go through such a gruesome experience. If you know me, you know I always want things to go my way.

I have the best kind of friends in my corner. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but I will never stop thanking God for them. Yet, at that particular moment, I felt very lonely. I went from seeing my friends almost every other day to seeing them only once in a while when it was convenient for everyone. People have jobs; they are building their futures and careers while I was sitting at home trying not to go insane. They held my hand, but I feel like I am a crutch if I ask for help, so I tend not to, even when my world is burning. Anxiety became my friend because of the constant tormenting questions: Am I doing enough? Will I ever amount to anything?

Don’t get me wrong. As much as that part sucked, I had fun. I mean, I finally learned to drive—not that well, but at least I could take myself to the supermarket. My friends threw me the best birthday ever. I had so much fun, enjoyed my cake, and took the most amazing photos. I learned that my own company is fun, and I guess I enjoyed it too much because now I love being alone. I got in touch with God, finally letting go of my own will and embracing His will, as Isaiah 60:22 says: "Even your smallest and humblest family will become as great as a powerful nation. When the right time comes, I will make this happen quickly."

I learned that therapy does help if you decide to go for a session. I went back to reading books, which I had stopped for a while due to a lack of motivation, and rediscovered my love for cooking and baking. I also learned that most of the questions might never have an answer, but I should do things at my own pace and be kind to my mind. I learned to treasure everyone around me and respect them because I have no idea what they are going through. I almost forgot to mention—what lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. What you see online is not always the case, and I am still learning not to compare my life with that of others.

Safe to say, 25 was my breaking and making point. I might struggle now, but I have the tools. I know when to let go and let God. I will conquer the world someday, but at my own pace, with peace in my mind, family and friends in my corner, and at God’s time. Take it easy, 25 is just a number, not your whole life.